My son has been living as a homeless person for the past year since he lost his driving license for drinking. Now he has been diagnosed as having schizophrenia.

I noticed the email form on my website was sending email to an old address. If you sent me a message, I didn't get it. I fixed it so that it should work okay from now on.

Something is terribly wrong with my son. He says bizarre things and imagines someone is going to murder him. His life is in such a mess. I don't know if he will ever be able to have a good life.

Mostly I feel my own suffering, how my life has changed, how my viewpoint about myself has change, and how I feel people shun me. Today I thought about how much my son is suffering. Everywhere he tries to get a job, they want to know if he is a felon. If he tells the truth, he doesn't get the job. If he lies, he gets fired when they find out.

I hope the new year will be better than the past ones. I need to reclaim my life and get back into my life. My sons didn't listen to me. They are on their own now. I have given up everything for them. I need to take back my own life.

I feel depressed. When will I ever get over this? I had so many dreams for my sons. They continue to struggle. At least they are not in jail. One of them is living in a homeless shelter. If he asked to come home, would I want him here? I don't think I could stand to see him the way he is now, day after day.

Nothing turned out the way I expected. What did I expect? I wanted my sons to grow up and be good people. I don't know what that is exactly. I do know it didn't include drugs and prison.

I was changing my blog to Blogspot. I didn't figure on the images not working because they are on Tripod and it doesn't allow me to use the images anywhere but on Tripod. So I changed it back. Figuring out anything else is just too complicated for my mind right now.

He lost his job because he lost his license. His wife left him and took their child with her. He's lost everything. I thought he was going to kill himself.

Mark bought a muscle car. He was out with his buddies and had a few beers. He was stopped for speeding and failed the breath test. Now he's lost his license and his job.

Geocities stopped allowing FTP. I moved my weblog to Bravepages. It was deleted. Three times is a charm?

I notice that I'm up at least until 1 a.m. If I don't get a call from the police by 1 a.m. then it's safe to go to bed.

I struggle with a decision. Should I attend the wedding? I have decided not to. The decision is tearing my heart to pieces.

The reason Mark was in such a big hurry to get married is because the girl is pregnant. I don't think that is a good reason for getting married. Two wrongs don't make a right. At least they aren't talking about an abortion.

I am depressed. Mark came home and told me that he's getting married. I had to drag it out of him. He was acting very evasive and wanted to talk to his father. How can he get married? He isn't taking care of himself.

Today I started a mailing list for mothers of felons.

The first lawyer, a public defender, quit my son's case. He got a second lawyer, and he quit too. It looks like if we want a lawyer we will have to pay for it.

The reason the lawyers quit is because my son won't take a plea bargain. He wants to take his case to a jury.

Waiting for the trial. Time is dragging.

David got another DUI. This time he had marijuana on him.